


All I See

by KizaKurosaki15



Series: All I See Series [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11251224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KizaKurosaki15/pseuds/KizaKurosaki15
Summary: Inspired By the song; "All I See" By NateWantsToBattleTony Stark has never been good with relationships, at least he didnt see it until Phil Coulson came into his life and left it.





	All I See

**Author's Note:**

> Kiza Here with my very first Marvel story. uhm, this was mostly done for a friend who; like me; has rediscovered their love for marvel. so, if you think i did well, let me know in the comments and ill think about taking requests for Stony, Phil/Tony, and Tony-centric one shots!

_And it's so typical of me_

_To be so cynical of you_

_I just keep running 'round in circles babe_

_And yet I haven't found a clue_

_A way to get around you now_

If there was something that Tony was sure of, it was that he was not good with relationships, not in any sense of the word. His once relationship with Pepper, that ended on less then desirable terms, but they managed to work past it, somehow by some miracle. Then there was Rhodey, best friend for so many years, care taker and the one person- (aside from Pepper) who would put up with his shit on a daily biases without ever _really_ complaining about it. those two seemed to be _happy_ about putting with him, being patient with him and teaching him as much as they could about how being able to manage a relationship platonic and romantic. Tony appreciated that so much, he had no words to ever say just how thankful he was.  But with that also came with learning how to get over relationships that came to an end.

Perfect example? It was during the Battle Of New York, well, before the major battle that took out most of the city, it was on the Helicarrier when Loki had managed to escape and took down Agent Phil Coulson. Now, this wouldn’t have bothered Tony so much, if he hadn’t known him for as long as he had. The Agent had helped him and Pepper a lot after his kidnapping in Afghanistan, and once again when his own Arc Reactor was poisoning him. really, he should have noticed how attached he had gotten to the other male over those years, they talked when the could, went out to lunch, breakfast or dinner when the other was in town, (Considering Phil _was_ a S.H.I.E.L.D Agent and Tony went between New York and Malibu). All in all, it was a good friendship.

_And I don't know why_

_But I'm mesmerized_

_By your broken eyes_

_(By your broken eyes)_

_But I can't complain_

_When I go insane_

_As I call your name_

_(As I call your name)_

Which he guess why Agent, soon became Coulson, and from Coulson, he became Phil. And to Phil, Stark became Tony just as fast. Just like How Tony wasn’t aware of how attached he could get, Phil wasn’t either. he was never one to show attachments to anyone. But, with Tony, that was different, especially after he saved himself from his captors in Afghanistan. It was something about…how small he looked, his eyes seemed broken, but his actions, manner of speaking and carrying himself said everything otherwise. Tony Stark, a _civilian_ was handling the aftermath of three months of torture and god knows what else, better than any Agent Phil had seen in a very long time. But he wasn’t a stranger to the signs of sleepless nights and days where he buried himself in his robots. Those days, Phil would casually take some paperwork off from the billionaire’s hands, and leave him tea, (No coffee, he actually wanted the man to sleep.). he supposed Tony noticed, because after he would _finally_ get the rest he needed, he made Coulson’s job so much easier.

Which was all nice, they had a good dynamic going. But, something about their relationship changed. Which is what scared Tony, he didn’t see this coming, well, okay- maybe he did. But he didn’t _think it would work_! The kiss had been unexpected, neither one of the two could say who for sure had leaned in first, but it happened, and _holy fucking hell_ did Tony feel like he was on cloud fucking nine. Tony was left breathless, not like the kiss was heated or anything, it was slow, gentle, shy. Something Tony was new to, but it felt _amazing_ he felt _loved_. Which, he was, as he later found out.

_And all I see is you next to me_

_A ghost of you tangled up in my sheets_

_It weighs me down to this ocean floor_

_I know I'll drown yet I'm begging for more_

It was a slow start, this new-found relationship between them. another new thing for Tony, Phil had noticed that there was a lot of new experiences for the genius. Tony wasn’t used to slow, he was used to fast paced relationships, which wasn’t bad? he guessed, but he preferred to take things slow, test the waters. Turns out, Tony is a lot shyer then he is made out to be. That obnoxious, loud, all over the place personality was just for show, something for the outside world to see. In private? That was a different story, oh so very different indeed. Phil saw a insecure Tony who would spend hours upon hours, upon hours in his workshop working on clean energy ideas, new medical equipment, ballistics uniforms etc. all because Maria Hill came back from a mission with a broken arm.  Tony _cared_ about human life, he didn’t want to be the Merchant of Death anymore. Phil understood this, he knew Tony had his demons, and sometimes struggled with them. Phil saw a Tony who was awkward and had no idea how to start date conversations, which Phil found rather cute and funny. He saw a Tony who would walk into the kitchen in nothing but in one of Phil’s dress shirts that seemed to big on him, hair a mess and looking more asleep then awake.

He also saw a Tony who would come rushing into his office at the main S.H.I.L.E.D building; talking far too fast for him to properly understand anything he was saying. But that didn’t seem to make him want to stop the genius from his long, everlasting rant. He merely set his work aside, and rested his chin on his hand, watching his boyfriend fondly as he paced around the room, hands failing about as he spoke, his eyes full of awe and happiness. Those were just some of the things that Phil saw in private, not many (aside from Rhodey and Pepper) ever saw or would ever see. It wasn’t a shock when Tony came running into his office one day demanding that Phil move in with him, the genius, however- looked as if he was about ready to bolt out the door if the Agent refused or waited too long to respond. So, Phil merely smiled at him and asked-

“When should I start moving my things? New York? Or Malibu?”

_I can feel you moving, hear you breathe_

_I could wear this heart out on my sleeve_

_You can break my bones and watch me bleed_

_I would do it all again_

_I can hear it in the way you speak_

_That you're reaching out as much as me_

_That you're searching for your way out_

_And you're dying just to live_

Oddly enough, Phil was shocked to find out later in their relationship that Tony was quite the Boxer/kickboxer. He had walked into their now shared Malibu home only to find the slightly shorter male giving his old bodyguard a good roundhouse kick to his face and sending him to the ground. At first, Phil had thought the other man was trying to hurt Tony, but when he heard the loud laugh escape from Happy’s mouth, he figured it wasn’t serious. it had turned out; Anthony Edward Stark, was more than capable of defending himself if need be. That explained why Tony was always able to wrap his arms around Phil’s waist and lift him out of the way whenever he decided to be playful and keep the Genius from getting to the coffee pot by standing in his way. That also explained why he drank a lot of those veggie and fruit blended juices in the morning and at night while he was working in the workshop. And it explained why Phil could see him lift heavy items with ease, needless to say, the smaller man was physically stronger then he let on.

Then, after some more time passed, Phil got to see another whole new side of Tony and Tony saw a whole new Side of Phil. Turns out, Tony was very, very, _very_ vocal, and Phil _Loved_ to bite, hard. It was during these times where Tony and Phil really felt each other. Where they could forget and let go of the days, weeks, hours, months, of hard work, stressful situations and the few arguments they had. During this time, Phil could clearly see the Arc Reactor that Tony was self-cautious about, the soft blue glow it gave off only seem to add to the angelic look Tony had during these activities. Despite popular belief, the so called ‘playboy’s’ skin was soft under his hands, the only parts of him that where actually rough where his hands due to years and years of mechanical work and the area around the reactor in the center of his chest. And Phil had a few scars of his own, some form knives, others from bullet wounds or burns. He noticed Tony paying attention to those scars a lot, often placing gentle kisses to each one of them it made the Agent’s heart swell with pride, love and just something purely amazing. He was in deep, both where. And each had no idea how they would live without the other.

_And I don't know why_

_But I'm mesmerized_

_By your broken eyes_

_(By your broken eyes)_

_We've gone this road_

_And we both know_

_Where it's bound to go_

_(Where it's bound to go)_

_And all I see is you next to me_

_A ghost of you tangled up in my sheets_

_It weighs me down to this ocean floor_

_I know I'll drown yet I'm begging for more_

_I don't know why_

_I'm mesmerized_

_I can't complain_

That is, Until the battle of New York happened. When Loki had managed to get all the Avengers to start arguing amongst themselves and distracted them all long enough for the Helicarrier to be attacked, allowing Loki to escape, but not without him taking down Phil with him. it was hard to keep himself together when Fury had him and Steve in the room as he explained Phil hadn’t made it. no one knew, it wasn’t as if they were trying to keep it a secret, no. they just hadn’t gotten around to telling the others yet. And now, it seemed…. pointless. Phil was gone, he wasn’t bouncing back from this, Tony didn’t know how to handle this, so he did what he did best- bottled it up. After Fury announced his death and that Phil died believing in the Avengers, that had brought the team together hell of a lot quicker than he thought. He couldn’t blame them, Phil was special, he didn’t treat them like how many others did. He treated them like normal humans, he didn’t care who they were. So, it wasn’t a shock that they all were extremely pissed off about him being stabbed through the heart.

After the battle, Tony went to his Malibu home after discussing the remodeling of the Stark; Now Avengers Tower; with Pepper. He thought he would be okay, he really did, he hadn’t felt the need to break down, not until later that night when he showered, changed into one of Phil’s shirts and laid there on his side of the bed. Tony all but could stare at the empty space next to him for half a second before tears started to spill over and a broken sob escaped him. he felt like he couldn’t breathe, memories of his time together with the Agent flooding his mind like a tsunami that he just couldn’t get away form. his chest _burned_ his hands clutching the sheets under him as he buried his face into his pillow and _screamed_.

He had never thought about how he was going to live without Phil, no that thought never crossed him mind, but both knew that with their jobs it was always a possibility that they couldn’t avoid, they just didn’t think it would happen so soon. Looking up from the picture, sobs still escaping him, he reached over, his hand shaking like an earthquake and grasped the pillow his lover used to use. Cold, the spot was cold, and faintly smelled of the other, he sucked in a breath, which was quickly used up as he laid there, sobbing, shaking, and feeling his entire world just crumble.

_And it's what I want, not what I need_

_A shadow of you that's been haunting my dreams_

_It eats me up from the inside out_

_It's on the tip of my tongue and won't leave my mouth_

_And all I see is you next to me_

_A ghost of you tangled up in my sheets_

_It weighs me down to this ocean floor_

_I know I'll drown yet I'm begging for more_

Therefore, this is why Tony Stark wasn’t good with relationships. They always ended up with that person leaving him, or being viciously ripped away from him. they never ended well, it was a shock Rhodey and Pepper where still around and that was only a matter of time itself before they were also taken away from his side, or left him. Phil was the best relationship to have ever happened to him, and now he was gone, a ghost of better times and of when he was happy.

Worst part of all of this- he never got to tell Phil he loved him, and Phil never got the chance to ask for Tony’s hand.


End file.
